I’m the new Google


Sam’s reaction to my pregnancy news:



Then about 10 minutes later, this conversation:

Sam: This is SO exciting! I mean, now I’ll know all the answers to all my baby questions!

Me: Baby Questions?

Sam: Yeah, like, how often do you have to give babies baths?

Me: I don’t know.

Sam: Well now we can find out!!!!

Me: Pretty sure you can google that. Or ask any mom.

Sam: No, that’s silly.

Me: So, apparently, now that I’m pregnant, I’m the new baby google.

Sam: And pregnancy google.

Things I noticed after I noticed


So obviously I didn’t KNOW I was pregnant until I took the test, but looking back I think there were a few signs:

  • Sunday afternoon we were watching the hockey game at a restaurant in Talkeetna, and someone at a table 10ft away ordered some drink with a lime in it. I didn’t see the drink get ordered or put on the table, but all of a sudden I felt like there was a lime IN MY NOSE, and I spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out who the hell smelled like lime. The funny thing is, when I saw it at the other table I just thought, “wow, this restaurant must have really good limes.”
  • I was SO HUNGRY all weekend!
  • My skin was really super dry and itchy this past week. I never would have thought that to be a symptom of pregnancy, but apparently it is. I looked it up.

How did you know when you were pregnant?

A period is a period… until it’s an exclamation point!


After three failed pregnancy tests in a row and a pronunciation from my doctor that I “didn’t respond well to clomid therapy this month” – I gave up on baby hopes for February.

Sunday night I came home from the cabin and went upstairs to shower off the weekend, and I realized I still had a dollar store pregnancy test, unopened, sitting on the back of the toilet. I still hadn’t started my period so I decided “what the hell” and used it. Then I set it on the counter, hopped in the shower and pretty much forgot about it since I knew it would be negative.

Out of the shower, already lotioned up, and combing my hair, I glanced over and saw THE FAINTEST LINE in the test line section. After dropping the comb, tripping over the rug and almost smashing my head on the counter, I scooped up the test and ran downstairs buck naked to show Adam.

Me, shoving the pee stick under his nose: “Baby!!!!!!! Baby!! What do you think THIS means?”

Adam: “Uh, I have no idea. Where are your clothes, weirdo?”

Me: “I’ve never seen a line where this line is before! What do you think?”

Adam: “I think it doesn’t even look like a line. You’d better wait until morning.”

Me: *sigh*

I then proceeded to look up pregnancy tests online for 30 minutes… surprisingly, I found photographs of the exact same brand of test yielding positive results. One of them totally looked just like mine.

Then I went back upstairs and took another test, because there’s NO WAY I could wait until morning. It was also a very, very light line, but two positives equals pregnant, right? Adam still wasn’t convinced, and refused to really celebrate until morning.

So… sleeping Sunday night was, um, difficult. I dreamt that I had just faked myself out and that nothing was real.  When I woke up Monday morning I tried to nonchalantly glide into the bathroom to take another test – although I’m sure it looked more like I rocketed out of bed and clumsily flew my way to the toilet. I took a digital test this time… no more messing around with silly lines. This is what I got:


The rest of this exciting story is that I went and did a blood test on Monday, and the doc called back Tuesday to say that I’m definitely pregnant and that my progesterone levels have risen beautifully. My 8 week appt is on March 23. Now let’s see who we’ll be able to keep it a secret from until then. 🙂

Will somebody just bring me a damn Kleenex already?!

This week the fertility medication I’m taking (Clomid) is affecting me a *little* more strongly than it did last week. LAST week I was all, “I just started taking my pills but I feek okay besides a few migraines, and I haven’t really been crazy at all!”

THIS week, so far, I have cried at the all following things (it’s amazing that I haven’t lost 10lbs of water-weight):

  • A funny passage in Marley & Me (I’m reading the book)
  • A sad passage in Marley & Me
  • The beautiful mountains in Alaska
  • The fact that I even have to take fertility medication at age 28
  • Missing my mom (who lives in Idaho)
  • iTunes
  • Missing my sisters (who live in Idaho)
  • Missing all of the rest of my family (who live in Idaho)
  • How I hate Idaho for stealing my family
  • How much I truly love my husband
  • The fact that my husband built me a snowmachine with hot pink accents
  • My dog. Just in general – and how lucky I am to have her (she’s amazing)
  • How much I love my job
  • How much I hate my job
  • A migraine headache
  • Missing my grandma (who passed away in 2008, and every time I make spaghetti I think about her because she was amazing and Italian)
  • Keeping up with the Kardashians (this one came out of nowhere)
  • A sweet comment on Facebook from my cousin about the SuperWife blog
  • How much I love my friend Sam, and how proud of her I am
  • iTunes
  • How I am equally happy/jealous that my friend Jen is having a baby
  • How I am ashamed at myself for being jealous of anyone’s anything when I have so much in my life to be thankful for
  • How I have so much in my life to be thankful for
  • My teddy bear
  • iTunes
  • A funny baby video on youtube
  • Law & Order: SVU
  • How Adam probably thinks I’m crazy
  • American Idol
  • When Adam told me I was crazy
  • A projector screen fiasco
  • iTunes
  • How if I actually did get pregnant this month, I would be due on Halloween, and how awesome that would be because I would totally dress up to go into labor
  • A baby laughing at the grocery store
  • A bad dream
  • A good dream
  • My other friend Jen’s good dream
  • My nailpolish
  • A cute pair of baby socks I saw today

I think I’m doing okay, though… right?




Safe Words and Tippytoes

I mentioned in my first post that Adam and I started trying for a baby in 2009… well it’s been nearly a year now, and no luck. I thought I’d share my experience with the issues and frustrations I’ve been dealing with here. I know I’m not the only person who has ever had fertility issues, and it helped me to read other couples’ stories online. My journey so far has been frustrating, uncomfortable and sometimes comical. I don’t know how cathartic this will be, but hopefully it will at least be either entertaining or comforting to someone.

So… just a short story for now. A few months ago I decided to finally get fertility testing done, and after a bunch of OBGYN appointments and some big long scary needles, my doctor prescribed Clomid. I had 3 blood tests and a failed hysterosalpingogram last year, and just this month my doc decided to dilate my cervix and give me pills. She’s pretty confident that we’ll (finally) succeed in makin’ a baby within 3 months, so I guess we’ll see.

When my doc was talking to me about the medication, she mentioned that it might make me go a little bit super-bitch-crazy… I laughed and said that I’m already a super bitch, so no biggie. She took it a little more seriously and then told me that I should “come up with a ‘safe’ word” for my husband and I to use in case I get out of hand… emotionally. SRSLY? Enjoy a small peek into my home life, in which you’ll see that this idea? Would never work. Â

Me: “Hey Honey, before I start taking these pills tomorrow, my doctor thinks we should come up with some sort of safe word in case I turn into too much of a biotch.”

Adam: “Oh, great. Is that what I have to look forward to? Can I just move out for a little bit?”

Me: “That may make the ‘baby-making’ a little difficult. Seriously though, we should come up with some sort of signal or word. Just in case.”

Adam: “How about, ‘Hey Jenny you’re being a huge bitch’? That should be fine.”

Me: “Uh, unless you don’t care if I throw plates at you, that will not work fine.”

Adam: *sigh* “Okay. Tippytoe.”

Me: “Huh?”

Adam: “That’s the word. Tippytoe.”

Me: “No. Absolutely not. I can guarantee that that word would just piss me off even more if I’m already in a shitty mood.”

Adam: “It seems like you’re starting to put yourself in a shitty mood right now.”

Me: “No, I just want you to take this seriously! C’mon!”

Adam: “You’re starting to freak me out. Have you already started taking those pills?”

Me: “What? NO! I said I start taking them tomorrow!”

Adam: “…tippytoe… tippytoe…”