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Q-Tip Confusion

You know how little tiny babies get boogers in their noses that seem impossible to get out? I’ve always used a q-tip – not the giant baby q-tips, just a regular q-tip – and they’ve worked fine.

I realized recently that Ellie thinks that the only intended use for a q-tip is to stick up her nose… I mean, I’ve given her no other reason to think otherwise, so it totally makes sense that this is her perception. Well, I’ve got a whole box of them in a reachable drawer in my bathroom, and whenever I’m getting ready in the mornings she plays with them, tries to see how many she can hold in each hand, throws them around the bathroom… cute, right?

Um… not so cute when I go to clean out my ear with a q-tip that already has a booger on it.

Guess I need to teach her the difference between “put it back” and “throw it away.”

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SuperAdvice: Don’t Be An iBoob

Friends, do I have another Superwife lesson for you…

It’s possible that you may have a young toddler who loves technology as much as Superbaby does. Have you ever let your child play with your iPhone or iPad? Does it buy you a few minutes every now and then – to set your kiddo up with your iPad while you blowdry your hair or hastily apply some makeup?

Well… a word of caution:

Your baby knows how to embarrass you. Just when you think you have everything under control… even when you’re not anywhere NEAR your baby – that little one OWNS you.

Let’s say – hypothetically – that you need JUSTAFEWDAMNMINUTES to finish getting ready the morning of a business trip. You’re frazzled, you’re behind, and your hair is a wreck. Your little one is wreaking havoc on everything and anything, so you set her up with your iPad on the floor next to you as you sit down to dry your hair. You haven’t had a chance to grab any clothes quite yet, so you perch yourself on an office chair with just a towel around your waist – no biggie, it’s just you and kiddo in the house anyway.

She plays contently, flipping through apps and bobbing her head to the song she’s smartly selected from your music library – giving you just the time you need to beautify yourself and then proceed to get dressed.

You might think this is an innocent, easy solution to your morning mayhem – DON’T BE FOOLED. Because the rest of this story might go like this:

You’ve kissed your kiddo goodbye. You’ve packed your carry-on bag for the plane, complete with your iPad to keep you busy for the next few hours. You take your seat, squeezed in between two nice gentlemen, on your four-hour flight. You open up your bag, pull out your iPad, turn it on, and…

HELLOOOOOOOOO BREASTS.

You now – hypothetically – find yourself staring at an iPad-sized photograph of YOUR OWN BOOBS. Taken by – you guessed it – your conniving, sneaky sweet, innocent little baby.

Now I don’t know how you would act upon finding yourself in this predicament, but IIII would probably let out a squeal, freak out and fumble until I accidentally drop my iPad, turn bright red and immediately start sweating profusely… and then I’d spend the next four hours staring straight ahead and not making ANY eye contact or conversation with the gentlemen on  either side of me. If this ever happened to me.

So… a word to the wise – either don’t let baby play with your iPhone/iPad/smartphone/camera, or check your damn photostream before you leave the house.

Just in case.

Self-Portrait by Superbaby

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Pop go the Cheerios

This toy… seems harmless enough, yes? When the red button is pushed, it blows a gentle flow of air that “pops” bright colored plastic balls out of the trunk with barely any pressure at all. Ellie LOVES it.

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Word to the wise: do NOT leave your mischievous toddler with this toy unattended. Because it’s *possible* that she could think that objects other than the included plastic balls will fit in that trunk. And it’s *possible* that other objects might include Cheerios. And it’s *possible* that too many Cheerios in the trunk will clog up the system so that air won’t blow out of it anymore.

Then, you might walk in to the living room and see that the toy isn’t working, and it’s *possible* that you’ll turn it upside down and dump one or two Cheerios out of it. You might think you’ve fixed the problem, and it’s *possible* that you’ll put your face over the trunk hole to look inside.

Now I’m not saying its a definite, but as you have your eye one centimeter from the trunk, it is *extremely possible* that your toddler will push that effing red button.

When If this happens, it’s *probable* that the rest of those Cheerios that kidlet shoved in there will shoot out of the toy like bullets and pelt you directly in the face. Cheerio crumbs might get in your eyes and under your contacts, making you throw drop the toy and dance around like a baboon while trying not to yell obscenities.

And then… it’s 100% INEVITABLE that your toddler will laugh hysterically. And maybe clap.

(This public service announcement has been brought to you by Superwife. You’ve been warned.)

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How do you measure a year?

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes,

How do you measure, measure a year?

In our household, we’ve measured the last year in smiles, snuggles, laughs, hugs, and kisses. We’ve also measured in diapers, pacifiers, teeth, and steps.

And love. Most of all, we measure in love.

Our hearts have quadrupled in size, and are still bursting with the love we have for our daugher. Every single day, Adam and I look at eachother and just say “I can’t believe it.”

It still seems like yesterday that I raced down the stairs to shove my positive pee stick in Adam’s face. And it really hasn’t been a year since I layed in my hospital bed and gazed into my baby girl’s bright eyes for the first time, HAS IT??

Oh… I guess it has. As is evidenced by the fact that she is now eating like a trucker, running from one end of the house to the other, and asking for the dog by name.

I keep waiting for that frazzled, harried, burnt-out feeling that is the stigma of all new moms… but it hasn’t come. I haven’t felt frustrated, angry, or resentful for one second – and you know, I thought those feelings might come with the territory. Even on the few days that she was so sick that I had to stay home from work and do nothing but hold her for 12 hours straight… I’ve never felt anything but grateful. And proud. And incredibly blessed.

She has changed me in ways that only a baby can manage – I am more patient, less judgemental, less rushed, much less dramatic, sillier, and to be quite honest… prettier. Even though I see darker circles under my eyes and more “cushion” on my frame when I glance in the mirror – I also see a mother, and that alone makes me feel more beautiful than I ever have.

Happy 1st Birthday to my beautiful Ellie Lynn, who forever changed my life the moment I knew of her existence. She is my dream come true, my true calling – my firstborn child. She transformed me from a Superwife into a Supermom.

She has grown so much in the past year… and so have I.

XOXO

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Sweet Baby Art

Have you been looking for a simple and safe way to get your kiddos involved in art projects? My sister Jess and I picked up a few canvases on sale at Micheals recently and decided to let the girls (Ellie & Emma, 11 months and 9 months) finger-paint… so we mixed Cool Whip and food coloring for a bright but edible baby-safe “paint”. (If you need some other craft materials or even some ideas, here’s this resource from Crayola to help you out.)

First, we duct-taped a few garbage bags to the floor to make clean-up easy. Then we mixed a few drops of food coloring into small bowls of whipped cream, and that’s all the planning we needed. Once we stripped the girls down to diapers, we simply let ’em go (supervised, of course)!

The little cuties ended up eating a lot of it, but we did get four beautiful and unique canvases out of the project. This would definitely be an inexpensive, fun and meaningful gift for a family member (planning Christmas gifts early, anyone?)!

 

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Babies!

How amazing it is that my sister Jess and I had babies at the same time? Because you’re *sort of* a captive audience (butpleasedon’tleaveme), I must share with you these pictures of our gorgeous babies, Ellie Lynn and Emma Lynn. Enjoy. Or else.

 

Photo credit to Karsen Marie Welch-King, of KMarie Photography. As you can see, she is an amaaaahhzing photgrapher (andshe happens to be one of my little supersisters). 🙂

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Chatter

Aw. If I get to listen to THIS every night, then I’ll take being tired. 🙂

Me: Okay Ellie, it’s time for bed!

Ellie: