AWG Conference 2016 – I’m Speaking!

Hey, shameless self-promotion over here today: I will be speaking at the Alaska Writers Guild Conference this year! My presentation will be categorized with the “Self-Publishing and Author Marketing” track, and I will be discussing blogging and social media.

If you fancy yourself a writer (or illustrator), consider joining us at the conference in September! I attended in 2015 and took SO, SO much away from the breakout sessions. I really can’t stress enough how amazing and inspiring this experience was for me last year! You guys, I’ve definitely got a book or two in me… and I feel like attending conferences like this one will help bring those books out. Luckily I get some good writing practice in right here at The Adventures of Superwife, and I’m so honored and excited to be teaching about blogging at the 2016 conference – I hope to see some of you there. ?

My breakout session, “The Web: Be There or Be Square… How to start your blog and use social media to self-promote” will be on Saturday, September 24th at 2:10pm. You can check out the entire agenda here, and you can register to attend here.

There will also be a Conference Sneak-Peek next month at Barnes & Noble – and this event will be free to the public. Come out and get an idea of what the conference is about and what it has to offer attendees! Plus, I’ll be on that panel sooooo I’m pretty sure you want to be there. ?

August Program Flyer

BlogHer ’14 – I’m going!

Sorry I’ve been boring lately – apparently this parenting gig takes like, a lot of time and stuff. I’ve realized that it’s kiiiiinda difficult to sit at the computer and blog when I’ve got little people climbing up my leg or asking for snacks or pulling my hair or pulling someone else’s hair or coloring on the dog or eating remote controls or tearing pages out of books and why do I hear running water???

Anyhoo… I’m leaving tonight to go meet my friend Molly in San Jose for BlogHer ’14! Damn, I guess I should go pack. Hopefully I’ll learn some neat stuff, meet some neat people and score some cool sh!t to give away to you guys! 🙂

Although I don’t anticipate meeting any celebrities this time around, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.Anyone remember my last trip-o-shenanigans(jenanigans?) with Molly? Check out the recap here.

Now everyone please pray that Adam pays attention if he hears running water while I’m gone. Those kids are mischevious!

Also, I know I’ve been quiet here on the ol’ blog… but I do make noise over at the facebook page quite often, so please go follow that page as well! It’s easier to shoot off a few funnies from my phone while grocery shopping  than it is to find a moment at the desktop computer. I’m sure you understand. 🙂

I'm Going to BlogHer '14!

I'm Going to BlogHer '14!

SUPERTHANKYOU!!!

A giant hug and a superthanks to all of you who read and follow Superwife. I write for you – parents, daughters, families, women, dudes… fellow superwives – thank you so much for reading and sympathizing and laughing with (and at) me. My life is crazy, funny, awesome, and blessed… and I’m always glad to share it with you. 🙂

Pick up your copy of the Anchorage Press today for a complete list of local favorites – available at multiple locations around town. (I usually get mine at Sagaya on Old Seward!)

Stimulation Room

So my boss and I are in Fairbanks this summer, where it gets REAAAAALLLLY cold in the in the winter. I mean REEEEALLLLY cold. Like, -50 degrees. Seriously. Ok so anyway… we’re talking to this pharmacy intern who says she’s from Louisiana and is leaving in September. I mention she’s missing the “best part of the year” (winter), and she giggles and tells me it’s okay because one of her friends made her go into this “winter simulation chamber” — a touristy thing, it’s a room that’s like -30 degrees to show outsiders what the winter weather feels like.

So… cut to dinner later that evening with my boss.

Boss: So, it looks like we may have a few extra hours to kill before the flight tomorrow. What is there to do around here?

Me: Oh, well, we could have lunch at Lavelle’s, then we could go to Pioneer Park and do a little bit of touristy stuff… oh hey! Maybe we could go to that stimulation room! ACK! *chokes on wine, almost spews out nose* … I mean SIMULATION ROOM. SIMULATION. Oh god, haha, oops. SIMulation.

Boss: Um, that sounds fun. Could we just skip lunch and go straight there? Haha!

Yeah, I’m that awesome. Maybe less wine at dinner with the boss next time. For the record though, he blushed too. 🙂

SuperSanta

A few years ago, Superwife and a few close friends got involved with a local (Alaska) charity that provided Christmas gifts to underprivileged children in our area. We recieved Christmas wish lists from kids ages 0-18, and did our best to make Christmas a holiday for these kids and their families. The Mat-Su Special Santa program helped over 3000 children in 2009, and has helped over 15,000 children since 1997!

This year, I expanded my involvement – by sharing it with YOU. I posted about this opportunity on the Superwife facebook page, and was able to sign up a wonderful group of generous SuperSponsors.

After coordinating with the MatSu Special Santa program to request individual wishlists for children in AK, Superwife’s SuperSponsors made a Christmas difference for 25 kiddos this year. TWENTY-FIVE.

Now THAT was a car load of gifts. 🙂 Adam and I loaded up all of the presents on Tuesday night into the back of my new mom van, and on Wednesday morning I set out to deliver everything to the Special Santa Workshop out in Wasilla (with the help of SuperSponsor Charlotte and my darling little Ellie).

The program volunteers were ecstatic, and it was absolutely amazing to see the behind-the-scenes magic that happens in the workshop. Volunteers were bustling about, putting together packages for families; tables were stacked with toys, games, jackets, and sports items. Jackets, hats and gloves were hung in the middle of the room, waiting to be packed up. Bags marked with individual numbers for each family were neatly situated in the corner of the warehouse, packed and ready to go – each with a brightly colored winter sled attached.

Although we didn’t get to actually see the families pick up their gifts, this experience was just awesome. A HUGE thank you to all of the wonderful people who volunteered to fulfill wishlists this year – I know that these kids will absolutely LOVE the stuffed animals, winter gear, blankies, gift cards, princess stuff, pajamas, basketballs, bicycles, baby toys, diapers, backpacks, coloring books, scooters, and all of the other items you had fun shopping for.

I love that the feedback I recieved from you all was so heartwarming – many of you took this as an opportunity to teach your own children about helping and giving, and ALL of you were so excited to help and shop that you said you had a hard time staying within the program-set spending limits (me too!). I seriously cried reading emails and texts from sponsors more than once during this whole event. *WARM FUZZIES!*

Next year… SuperSponsor goal is 50. I know we can do it! 🙂

,

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Looks like I’ll be eating a lot of chicken dinners over the next four months in order to become a “winner winner”!

Adam and I decided last weekend that we’re going to have a full-on competition to see who can get the hottest for our trip to Hawaii in February. While pigging out on churros and guacamole and Tony Roma’s ribs in California, we set our parameters:

  • Whoever loses the highest percentage of body weight by the day we leave wins.
  • Winner gets $500 to spend however they’d like – no whining or bitching from the loser (this means that when I win I can spend $500 on makeup or shoes without having to explain myself – YESSSSSSSS)
  • No crazy unhealthy fasting (*sigh*); nutritious foods and old-fashioned excercise only
  • Weigh-ins will be every Monday, and we’re keeping a log posted on the fridge

We did the math –  it’s fortunate (and fair) that we both are wanting to lose about the same percentage of weight. I’ll omit Adam’s numbers for the time being, because I didn’t ask his permission if I could publish his weight on the internet… but here are mine:

  • 10/10 Starting Weight: 147 (ohgodpleasedon’tjudgemeeventhoughIgavebirthlikeayearago)
  • 2/9 Goal Weight: 122
  • Goals: -25lbs, -17%

So… it’s settled. I am going to be so effing hot in 4 months it’s ridiculous. I’ve spent the entire last 4 days just fantasizing about myself. Really. Fantasizing about being so hot that I have to fan myself with the 500 one-dollar bills I’m going to make Adam give me. Also, the benefit here is that Adam is going to be SMOKIN’ hot as well… he’ll just be a smokin’ hot loser (although is he really “losing” if he gets to parade around Maui with a gorgeously thin and fit bikini-clad trophy wife??).

WISH ME LUCK!! (I’m already at 145)

Goal Me (pic from my wedding day)

Kiss My Tissue

Last night I did something awful to my back while I was in the shower with Ellie… Like a scene out of a movie, I bent over to pick her up, felt something slip, and then couldn’t stand upright for like 15 minutes. What’s SUPER awesome about this scenario is that my husband is out hunting for the week… So I’m aaalllllll alone with a crap back and a squirmy baby.

Blah blah blah, pain pain pain, so I went in to see a chiropractor first thing this morning. He asked 8,000 questions, took some xrays and then informed me that I had definitely broken my tailbone in a cheerleading accident back in ’02. Apparently, my last 2 chiropractors MISSED THAT SMALL FACT. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I’m going in for some more treatments, adjustments and massage therapy and hopefully I’ll be able to strengthen my back muscles enough to support my dumb spine- which is apparently out of whack from accidents, carrying heavy things on a daily basis, and childbirth.

Here is a portion of our doctor-patient conversation that I thought would give you a snicker:

Dr: Well, it’s kind of difficult to see the bottom of your spine in this xray, because there’s a lot of tissue down here in this area.

Me: Oh, you mean my fat ass tissue?

Dr: Yes. I MEAN NO! No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just that on this particular xray angle your tailbone is difficult to see.

Me: Awesome. Nice save, dude.

Happy Friday!
Love, Mrs. Fat Fast